We’ve all been there. We walk in on our child doing something they shouldn’t be doing, and our mood is suddenly thrown into a negative whirlwind. We chastise, we accuse, we make snap judgements. Our child meanwhile, feeling confronted and uncertain, goes immediately on the defensive. They clam up and refuse to talk, or perhaps they shout. Maybe they run off and begin to do something even more destructive. And we the parent are left standing there in shock, wondering what on earth just happened.
The trouble is, when we only see the behaviour and react without taking a moment to pause, we set ourselves up for failure.
What if we come in and find our child quietly painting the carpet? When we shout or blame, we leave them no room for manoeuvre. They know we have made up our mind and they close themselves off to our words. They feel angry and resentful, and this then leads to further behavioural struggles throughout the rest of the day.
Continue reading The Importance of Connecting before Correcting
It seems not a week goes by before we see more hate filled judgement emerging from reality star Katie Hopkins.
This week, it just so happens she has targeted her venom towards breastfeeding mothers, with tweets such as:
“When your waters burst, write ‘piss off nipple nazis’ on your tits. Just to remind yourself of what the stronger, sane you used to think.”
“Women have the right to breast feed. But they don’t have the right to put everyone else off having milk in their tea. Put it away girls”
“Free to feed protest tomorrow. Expect the mammary militia out in force. Stand firm @ClaridgesHotel. Their sort shouldn’t be free to breed.”
Today, I was asked by a fellow natural parent if I was angry at her words or offended by her stance.
And I had to reply with a resounding “No.”
Continue reading Katie Hopkins – Your Views On Breastfeeding Don’t Offend Me
I took Little Cat for his bi-annual hair cut today. He hates to have his hair brushed, so whenever it reaches the stage where it starts to matt and tangle, we give him the choice of daily hairbrushes or a haircut. He always goes for the cut. We have been going to the same hairdressers since he first started getting hair cuts. He always has the same lady do it and she gives him a lolly pop afterwards.
He likes this lady and finds her funny, but each time we go he has a lot of questions afterwards about the things she says to him. This time was no different…
Hairdresser: You are being such a good boy. Well done!
LC: Stares at her looking confused.
Hairdresser: I expect you’ve been very good this year. Is Santa going to bring you lots of presents for Christmas?
LC: Shakes his head.
Hairdresser: Why not? Have you been a naughty boy?
LC: Looks up at me in bewilderment as if asking what he should do.
I step in: He doesn’t believe in Santa actually.
Hairdresser: Oh! Well I feel silly. You must think I’m a bit crazy!
LC: Nods his head and laughs.
We pay and leave.
LC: Mummy, why did that lady say all that stuff about Father Christmas?
Continue reading Mummy, Why Do Grown Up’s Lie To Children? Santa From a Four Year Old’s Perspective
If you’ve been here a while, you’ll know that this book has had a massive effect on my parenting and writing, so I thought an official review was well past it’s due date. Find out what makes this book so very inspirational and the ways in which we have incorporated the ideas into our own parenting style in this video.
Continue reading The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff / Book Review
We parents can be harsh on ourselves sometimes, and so often we have a tendency to focus on where we’re going wrong. This can be useful if we think of constructive ways to improve and do better for our children, but more often than not, it pulls us into a guilt trip that makes us forget the great parent we are the majority of the time, and how much effort we put into getting it right for our children.
So in this post I want to give you some reasons to remind you exactly why YOU ARE a great parent. Don’t ever forget it!
Continue reading 12 Little Ways You’re Getting It Right as a Parent