The Power of Language

“Why do you have to be so unkind?”

“You make me so angry!”

“Why do you have to be like this?”

When our children test their boundaries, when they are worked up, overstimulated, unwell or for a multitude of other reasons, their behaviour can be drastically affected. Suddenly your sweet little boy or girl has turned into a ball of defiance and your patience is quickly pushed to its limits.

When this happens, for many parents their first response is to point out the negative aspect of their child’s behaviour. They accuse. They blame. They go on the attack. But rather than making the child stop and think, it has the opposite effect.

The child becomes defensive. They feed off the negative energy and their behaviour becomes even worse. When they hear : “You are such unpleasant company today!” “Why can’t you just be good?” “I can never trust you, why do I bother taking you anywhere?” they feel like they have to live up to your negative expectations. “Mummy thinks I’m a bad child, so I may as well be.”

When they feel attacked, they are no longer working in harmony with you, instead, they are battling against you. Perhaps they feel they can do no right, after all, everything they do makes you say harsh words to them.

But when their behaviour is no longer acceptable, what can you, the parent, do to restore harmony and uncover the sweet child you used to know?

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Answering The Question “Mummy, Where Do Babies Come From?”

“Mummy, where do babies come from?”

I still remember the very first time my son asked me this question. I was in the changing rooms of a busy clothes shop trying a few things on, and every single cubicle was full.

Out of the blue he piped up, “Mummy, where do babies come from? How are they made?” and I heard every other person in the room burst into laughter and then go totally silent as they waited to see what my response would be!

In this video I share how I approached what could be a difficult question for some parents to answer, and how to make sure you don’t overload your child with more information than they are ready to hear.

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Should I let My Baby Play With a Machete?

When people first become acquainted with the Continuum Concept and natural, hunter gatherer style parenting, one question they all seem to become fixated with is the idea of babies playing with sharp knives, fire and even machetes. In her book, Jean Liedloff describes crawling babies investigating the area around an open pit, playing next to a fire and also handling machetes.

Quite understandably this is somewhat frightening to our Western sensibilities. Parents either make the decision to try and give their babies the freedom to take these risks, all the while hovering nervously and completely negating the point of “trusting” them to be safe, or they childproof and offer plastic toy versions, but feel they have somewhat failed their child by not being able to give them the trust they deserve.

So what should we do? As a natural parent should our babies be playing with machetes?

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Coming Full Circle

Well my friends, it’s been a rollercoaster of epic proportions for our family this year. After my daughter was rushed into hospital at just two days old, life as we knew it was turned upside down, utterly transformed from the peaceful and happy reality we had been living up until then. I can’t pretend to have sailed through this experience with grace and patience. There have been some big challenges and I have faltered and failed time and time again.

As a parent, I have been pushed to my limits, and gone far beyond them more times than I would like to admit. I have reacted to my four year old and his behaviour with anger and frustration. I have shouted. I have been ashamed of myself and wondered many times why I couldn’t figure out how to handle a particular situation.

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