People are often surprised to learn, that although I advocate for gentle, peaceful and natural parenting, I do not advocate for child centred parenting.
Child centred parenting is the phenomenon of primarily filling your time with activities specifically for the child, along with asking them for direction and allowing them to choose what the whole family should do.
Perhaps confusingly, I do believe fully that a child has the right to freedom of choice, but the key difference I see in child centred parenting is that the scales are tipped in a vastly unbalanced way, often giving the child the control over the choices of the entire family and setting them in the place of the “leader” of the family.
This is another major difference between Continuum families and Attachment parents, and although I consider myself both, child centred parenting is something I see far more of in the AP world.
So what is the harm in child centred parenting?
Well, as Jean Liedloff famously wrote in The Continuum Concept:
I love the philosophy of Waldorf, the simplicity, the natural resources, the beauty and rhythm of the day. We are currently living fairly close to the Waldorf ideals and have enjoyed purging the plastic and simplifying the toys and resources in our home.
There is a common misconception these days that things equal happiness. That love is shown through buying and giving and the more you spend, the more you must love.
My son has a new toy, an orange tractor which he is very proud of. He has very few toys (by comparison to typical western families) and I bought this on a whim when I saw how much he loved it, and his whole face lit up.
**This is a guest post from Ariadne Brill of Positive Parenting Connection**
