The Best Kept Parenting Secret

When you become pregnant for the first time, you are told over and over again about the difficulties to come. You are told of sleepless night and sore nipples. The end of your sex life and no more quality “me time.”

Then your angel is born and you become plagued with tales of teething, sleep regression, the terrible twos, talking back, distant teenagers. In fact its a wonder any of us made it through the stormy seas in to this journey we call parenthood. But I for one am so happy I did.

Because I have discovered something else. Something the many horror stories missed out, the documentaries failed to warn me, something that no book prepared me for…

Rather than becoming someone to battle with daily and to cause me stress and anguish, my toddler has in fact become one of my most treasured friends. He is the most incredible companion, kind, sharing, fun, inspirational and believe it or not, interesting too.

They warned me I would have to give up “me time” – They didn’t say it would be replaced with the most hilarious company I could imagine!

And so, I began to wonder “Why is this such a secret? Why is the best part of parenting left out of every tale?”

And then it dawned on me… Perhaps the reason that no one tells you this, is because it isn’t the case for everyone. And that made me so sad, because Yes my son is wonderful and great company and I am so lucky to have him, but so is yours. So is every other child born into this world.

Our relationships with our children can so often be sacrificed by our need to police and manage behaviour, rather than focusing on our connection to each other.

But in focusing on that very connection by allowing ourselves to bask in the relationship and really enjoy our children, the very things you were trying to manage and control will no longer be an issue. A child is much more likely to comply out of love than fear. Especially when they can see that what you are asking is important and necessary rather that an attempt to control them and interfere with their explorations.

The relationship I have with my son is so much more amazing than I could ever have dreamed of. Through his eyes the world is magical and everyone we see is a friend he has yet to make. Letting go and allowing myself to be a part of that experience has led me to discover this wonderful secret, this incredible little person. So join me in letting go, and discover the wonderful friend you have been missing out on!

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7 thoughts on “The Best Kept Parenting Secret”

  1. nice parenting can be so relentless that ‘me’ time can be needed even with the best toddler to be around. I remember a very unsettling feeling…I was alone with my child for best part of 3 weeks in a new city with no friends and family away…I was shattered. I got a cold. I have a very energetic child…I was sitting on the floor, staring blankly at the wall and realising that at the moment he is actually being lovely and great to be around…except I DO NOT WANT TO. It was horrible to realise. We have a great relationship in general, but sometimes it still gets a bit too much.

  2. So true!
    Even though I sometimes long for a little me-time as I am mostly a single parent while my husband travels and we have no family close, I treasure spending my days with my son.
    He is a wonderful companion and friend. I miss him when I end up going to the grocery store alone or cook while he is playing with someone else (or alone though he usually always joins me).
    I feel so lucky to be able to spend my days with someone so inspiring, happy, genuine and loving.

  3. I agree! As I was washing the floor today with my 10-month old on the sling he suddenly initiated a game with me, looking at me and laughing, to which I occasionally played “freeze” with a funny face, making us both laugh. In this crazy situation of cleaning the house I was having so much fun! I could feel his sense of humor and treasured the moment!

  4. I just read this article today,and i just want to say that i am so grateful that i came across your blog,i am now a suscriber,it really helps me when i lose the connection with my little girl,i read your articles and suddenly we are back being best buddies,i sometimes get tired i have no family close by and i am stay at home mum.But i love spending time with her,she s so energetic,interested in everything and outgoing,she s the best company i could hope for.I am so grateful for having read the Continuum concept and having found ur blog which has been a tremendous help.(Almost like having a friend who reminds me to be connected!)I have been raised the mainstream way and trying to break the pattern is always an easy task!anyway thank you for all these so inspiring and interesting articles!

    1. Wow, thank you so much for such a lovely comment! It really makes me happy to know that my writing is helping other mothers, and I am so glad that you are finding more ways to connect with your daughter! Where in the world are you? Sounds like you would love to meet more like-minded mothers, I met a lot of great people through local attachment parenting meets, sling meets and la leche meetings. Perhaps there is something similar close to you? Anyway, thank you again for such kind words – you have made my day.

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