Tag Archives: attachment parenting

The Slow Christmas – How to Stay Zen Over the Holidays

new-years-eve-1909061_640Back in the beginning of our lives as parents, my husband and I tried to keep up with what had become our traditional family Christmases. Both of us have split families, and people we needed (wanted) to see in different towns. As a result, we would take on a full three days of celebrating each year, starting Christmas eve and ending on Boxing day, with each of the parties going on until late at night.

At first we brought our newborn son along for the ride, and exhausting though it was, we never considered doing anything differently. Then when he was a few years old, my dad’s side of the family somehow added an extra day to the festivities. They wanted to have a sit down evening meal at a pub 45 minutes drive from our house on the night of the 23rd. Three days of madness turned into four days of exhaustion, and though we loved seeing everyone, we were too tired and stressed to really enjoy any of it. Our son suffered, missed out on sleep and became utterly overstimulated by the constant chaos.

Then our daughter came along and with most of her medical needs being taken care of in the early evening, we were suddenly provided with the perfect excuse to slow down. In doing so, we have discovered how rewarding slow family Christmases can be. In this article, I will share the big changes we made, along with the ways we help our little people cope with the intensity of Christmas celebrations.

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It’s Easy to be a Peaceful Parent… When Nothing Stressful Happens!

newborn-1506248_1920Stress. It’s something we all experience at some point or another. For mothers of young children, teens, multiples, home educating families or families parenting children with medical issues, to name just a few, the stress levels can increase exponentially.

When there is nothing more challenging than choosing which bagel topping to have for lunch or what film to watch on Netflix, it is easy to be calm. But the more balls thrown into our ever juggling arms, the more our stress levels can rise.

Our children are like sponges, soaking up our moods, be they calm or fraught. And when it is the latter, their own stress levels rise to match our own. They reflect it right back at you, no matter how hard you try to hide what you are feeling. You cannot mask your true mood from them.

They know.

They know you so deeply, they see through the false smile. And when they mirror that stress, absorbing all that tension, their behaviour descends into mayhem. They have to release it. A calm, serene child has little need to lash out and be destructive. They have no urge to argue or shout furiously in response to your requests. But when their insides are pulsing with pent up tension, mounting stress, they have to let it out.

They have to explode.

And it is the worst possible thing for us weary, drained parents. We are balancing on the edge of patience at all times. We are so close to reaching our absolute limit. We can’t manage a single extra challenge. And we are suddenly faced with a child who neither knows nor cares that we are hovering at breaking point, who is lashing out, needing support we can’t summon up the reserves to give.

This is parenting at its hardest. This is when things fall apart and we react in ways we later regret. When we ignore feelings, when we say harsh words or forget how scary it can feel to be lost in such big emotions when you are so very small. It all becomes just a step too far for us to manage.

It’s so easy to talk about the merits of peaceful parenting. It’s all so wonderful in theory. But is it really possible to be the parent you so desperately want to be in these times of undeniable stress?

Fortunately, the answer is yes. But it’s not easy. It’s not going to come without hard work. But it is worth it. Let me share how with you now.

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Why is My Child So Angry? Anger Management for Children ~ Part Two

 

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This is part two in the Love Parenting series on Anger Management for Children. In part one we looked at working on ourselves. Going inwards and creating an atmosphere of calm. Finding more patience and meeting our own needs. You can watch/read part one here if you missed it.

In this section, we are going to look at the many reasons why our children might feel angry. When our children experience strong feelings of anger, it can be very scary for us as parents to witness. We don’t like to see our children so out of control and it can be terrifying for us to watch them feeling so furious when we can’t understand where that anger is coming from, what the cause is and what we can do to help them.

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Anger Management for Children – Part one

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This is part one of a three part series on anger management for children. There are numerous reasons why a child may be experiencing feelings of intense anger, and the solutions are just as varied so it’s not something I want to rush through in one article.

In this first segment, I want to talk about looking inwardly at our own emotions and to do this, I’m going to start with a little story. Tell me if this strikes a chord within you.

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Gentle, Respectful Punishments for Attachment Parenting?

I get a lot of emails asking me to give advice on the best, most respectful and most gentle punishments to use on children in order to help them learn boundaries and understand the consequences of their actions. In this video I share my answer and it may surprise you…

Watch The Video Now

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