Tag Archives: behaviour

Iris Grace’s Mother: On Autism, Natural Play Spaces and Child Led Home Education

unspecified1Iris Grace is a seven year old little girl with a massive talent for painting. Her work has been compared to Monet and has been bought and shared by the likes of Angelina Jolie and Daniel Radcliffe.

Iris also happens to have Autism.

Professionals were ready to give up on her, writing her off and offering outdated, one size fits all techniques, but Iris’s mother, Arabella Carter-Johnson knew that there was so much beneath the surface that wasn’t being seen. She knew that if she could find the right way to communicate with this beautiful little spirit, she would help Iris to escape her anxiety and reach her true potential.

She was a mother on a mission and she wouldn’t give up on her child.

I was lucky enough to get Arabella to agree to an interview for Love Parenting, in which she shares how she made the decision to walk away from her dream of sending Iris to school and choose interest based home education instead. She discusses the affect nature has on Iris’s behaviour, and her personal coping mechanisms that helped her survive the darkest days and long sleepless nights with a child who didn’t like to switch off.

Continue reading Iris Grace’s Mother: On Autism, Natural Play Spaces and Child Led Home Education

Are You Ready For a Revolution?

Family on Beach with KiteFor a long time now I have been offering a copy of my book The Parenting Revolution to subscribers of my blog. I know so many of you have downloaded and read it and I hope it has been an enjoyable read for you. But now, I am so excited to announce that The Parenting Revolution is finally available on Amazon, Kobo, Nook and Smashwords for your e readers. It is still COMPLETELY FREE on all platforms except Amazon, and we are working on getting Amazon to price match too. (You can help with this by going to the Amazon links below, clicking on the link in the product details which says “tell us about a lower price,” and copying and pasting one of the free sources below in the box. I would be very grateful!)

Many people dislike reading on their computer and I hope that this will help others to find and enjoy it too. This new version is extended from the original PDF so grab yourself a copy to read the extras.

And since you guys were the first to read The Parenting Revolution and I have never had a place for you to leave reviews, it would mean so much to me if you could leave a short one on Amazon.com or Amazon.co.uk for me, to let me know what you thought. As an author the best thing is being able to hear readers opinions of our work.

You can get your FREE copy here:

Smashwords

Kobo

Nook

This book shares the six simple parenting principles that will transform your family and your life.

Why am I giving this book away totally free? Because I want everyone to read it. I believe so passionately in the message of this book and I believe that if everyone knew the importance of these six principles, children would be happier, parenting would be more harmonious and many of the discipline issues families face today would simply fade away. Parenting in line with these principles helps children to reach their full potential in life, and grow into vibrant, healthy and most importantly happy adults. I believe that every family deserves to read this.

 

The Difference Between Natural Consequences and Parentally Controlled Boundaries.

DSC_0238-001Natural Consequences is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in parenting circles, but often the consequences the parents are describing are anything but natural.

There is some confusion over what constitutes a natural consequence and in this article I want to clear that confusion up, and then discuss why boundaries are different but still valid.

So what is a natural consequence? Continue reading The Difference Between Natural Consequences and Parentally Controlled Boundaries.

The Power of Language

“Why do you have to be so unkind?”

“You make me so angry!”

“Why do you have to be like this?”

When our children test their boundaries, when they are worked up, overstimulated, unwell or for a multitude of other reasons, their behaviour can be drastically affected. Suddenly your sweet little boy or girl has turned into a ball of defiance and your patience is quickly pushed to its limits.

When this happens, for many parents their first response is to point out the negative aspect of their child’s behaviour. They accuse. They blame. They go on the attack. But rather than making the child stop and think, it has the opposite effect.

The child becomes defensive. They feed off the negative energy and their behaviour becomes even worse. When they hear : “You are such unpleasant company today!” “Why can’t you just be good?” “I can never trust you, why do I bother taking you anywhere?” they feel like they have to live up to your negative expectations. “Mummy thinks I’m a bad child, so I may as well be.”

When they feel attacked, they are no longer working in harmony with you, instead, they are battling against you. Perhaps they feel they can do no right, after all, everything they do makes you say harsh words to them.

But when their behaviour is no longer acceptable, what can you, the parent, do to restore harmony and uncover the sweet child you used to know?

Continue reading The Power of Language

How to Get Children to Cooperate Without Punishments or Rewards

Is it even possible?

I have a three year old, so this is a subject I have had a lot of time and opportunity to ponder. My son has been blessed with a stubborn gene (passed on from myself and his Opa no doubt!) and knows his own mind. The fact that he isn’t afraid to say no, that he questions “authority” (me!) and doesn’t blindly follow orders and instructions is something I am immensely proud of. I love that he thinks for himself. And yet…

At times, I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish he would just this once, just do as I ask. Sometimes we are in a hurry and it would be really helpful if he would do a few things I KNOW he is capable of – Tidy his toys, put on his coat, wash his face. The fact that he can do these things but chooses not to can be a real source of frustration for me.

And so on these occasions, I would find myself getting cross. I’d nag and complain. I would put the pressure on, and I admit, I even tried subtle bribes and threats. (Lest you believe I always get it right!) And what was the result? He dug his heels in even further. He not only refused to do the thing I had asked, but now refused to even move. Or worse still, my actions made HIM feel frustrated which displayed itself in destructive behaviours. Which in turn, made me angrier still! It became a very negative circle of emotions and reactions.

When this happened I would have two choices. I could up the anti and start punishing in a way that would MAKE him comply by sheer fear, causing catastrophic damage to our relationship, his trust in me, his self confidence and so much more, or I could back down. Admit defeat. Calm myself down and start again. I always chose the second option.

But this still leaves the issue of how do you get your child to cooperate if you don’t want to fall into the dangerous trap of punishment and rewards? So I wanted to share with you what I have learned along the way, and what has worked for our family.

Continue reading How to Get Children to Cooperate Without Punishments or Rewards