Tag Archives: Happiness

The Key to A Peaceful Home (And 3 Ways We Keep Ourselves Locked Out)

***This is a guest post written by Shannon Wasie***

First Night Akron 2015

We feel it deep. A craving, a desperate need for peace. Peace.

The violence, hatred, political, ecological and humanitarian distress in our world can be tremendously heavy.

And then, we read the studies and our intuition confirms: the peace we crave begins at home.

The violence of abusive parenting breeds violence in the hearts and bodies of the next generation. And what’s more, it seems the innate rejection experienced under hyper-critical, shame-based parenting does the same.

We need peace. Wild peace. Wholeness. Healing.

We need peaceful homes.

BUT HOW?

How, when the ten thousand demands on us are pulling us to shreds?

When our finances are in disarray, and our children are driving us mad?

When our relationships with our partners are full of conflict and pain?

How can we possibly find peace?

Continue reading The Key to A Peaceful Home (And 3 Ways We Keep Ourselves Locked Out)

Rediscovering YOU After a Trauma

4022c6e6840e027f11a0c6b6996fbf83I have been lost for a long time now. Last year was a blur of pendulum emotions, fear, joy, anger, love, guilt and determination. I spent a long time re evaluating everything I thought I knew. I was broken and rebuilt more times than I can count and I can quite honestly say that I have emerged a different person.

There are depths to my emotions I didn’t know I could reach, and I have learned that when it comes down to the crunch, my children can truly rely on me to fight their corner. I will go without food, without sleep, without seeing the outside world for days at a time to stand guard and protect my children from harm. I will make you dislike me, I will make you hate me, I will speak the truth and stand up for what I know in my heart is right for them and I won’t care.

I will make a scene.

I will tell you no.

I will fight.

But I have also learned that what I once thought was the ultimate truth, was wrong. I still have ideals and beliefs about how I want to raise my children, but it has taken a big dose of reality for me to see that my way is not always the right way. I don’t want to tell you how to raise your children any more. I don’t know you, I have no idea what you’ve been through and I have no right to tell you you’re wrong. I can only share our story and hope you take what inspires you and leave the rest. And maybe you’ll teach me something valuable along the way too. Continue reading Rediscovering YOU After a Trauma

The Ultimate Family Detox for New Year

ID-1008409If you are anything like my family, Christmas tends to be a time of year where unhealthy, heavy foods slip in and portions become much bigger than normal in the lead up to the festivities.

These eating habits can quickly become the new normal if a person isn’t mindful, and it can be late spring or even early summer before they finally realise they need a complete diet overhaul.

That’s why I love to get back to clean eating straight after the Christmas period.

I don’t actually start the detox new years day as I prefer to do it much closer to Christmas, but my main deciding factor is that the Christmas junk needs to be gone. Either eaten, donated or shared with friends, it doesn’t matter, but it MUST be out of the house so you are free from temptation. When all the sweets, cream, meat and other treats have gone, you are ready.

I have done many detoxes in the past, from juice fasts to raw food and I have come to realise one thing. The stricter and more regimented the detox, the less likely I am to complete it, the harder it will feel and the more likely it is that I will be found under a blanket with a family pack of cookies reduced to crumbs on my lap by 5pm on the first day. So I focus instead, not on extreme methods, but on gentle cleansing which can be continued long term.

Although you can choose to do this detox for two days, five days or a week, I personally put no end date on my own detox, instead, just slowly adding a few small extras from the restricted list for occasional use after I feel suitably cleansed. My goal is long term health and clean eating, not fad bursts of cleansing and binging. Because of this approach, we are able to do it as a family. No separate meals needed, the children can – and should – get the same healthy foods to help them grow and develop to the best of their abilities. A juice fast would be a real struggle for a five year old used to eating big meals, but on this gentle family detox there is no need for anyone to be left out.

So lets start with the rules. First the foods that need to be cut out completely:

Continue reading The Ultimate Family Detox for New Year

12 Little Ways You’re Getting It Right as a Parent

We parents can be harsh on ourselves sometimes, and so often we have a tendency to focus on where we’re going wrong. This can be useful if we think of constructive ways to improve and do better for our children, but more often than not, it pulls us into a guilt trip that makes us forget the great parent we are the majority of the time, and how much effort we put into getting it right for our children.

So in this post I want to give you some reasons to remind you exactly why YOU ARE a great parent. Don’t ever forget it!

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Children and Manners: How Can I Get My Child to Say Thank You?

Little Cat is sitting on the floor at his grandparents house, flitting between his brand new bright yellow rescue helicopter – A toy he has been coveting for the past twelve months – and the full sized keyboard passed down to him by his uncle. This week he is turning four years old and as with many four year old’s, he has been excited about his upcoming birthday for quite some time.

His first reaction to his presents when he opened them five minutes previously, was one of immense seriousness. He held the helicopter up to the camera before silently getting to work investigating all the levers and buttons propellers, just as he had been dreaming of doing every time he had seen it in its box in the shop.

Perhaps somewhat controversially, I didn’t encourage or even suggest he thank his relatives for his wonderful gifts. Instead, I took a few photographs and we sat back quietly, letting him explore them in his own time.

He explored the settings on the keyboard. He played some tunes. He showed his Daddy how the winch on his helicopter worked, and he chatted away to himself in glee.

His Nana got up to make a cup of tea for everyone and then came back and sat down on the sofa. As she did, Little Cat looked up at her and said without prompting:

“Thank you so much for my presents Nana! I like them too much!”

He got up and gave her a kiss and a cuddle, before returning to his new gifts.

So how did we manage to instil such beautiful manners in him? And more importantly, how did we do it without prompting, bribery or punishments?

Continue reading Children and Manners: How Can I Get My Child to Say Thank You?