Tag Archives: natural parenting

It’s Easy to be a Peaceful Parent… When Nothing Stressful Happens!

newborn-1506248_1920Stress. It’s something we all experience at some point or another. For mothers of young children, teens, multiples, home educating families or families parenting children with medical issues, to name just a few, the stress levels can increase exponentially.

When there is nothing more challenging than choosing which bagel topping to have for lunch or what film to watch on Netflix, it is easy to be calm. But the more balls thrown into our ever juggling arms, the more our stress levels can rise.

Our children are like sponges, soaking up our moods, be they calm or fraught. And when it is the latter, their own stress levels rise to match our own. They reflect it right back at you, no matter how hard you try to hide what you are feeling. You cannot mask your true mood from them.

They know.

They know you so deeply, they see through the false smile. And when they mirror that stress, absorbing all that tension, their behaviour descends into mayhem. They have to release it. A calm, serene child has little need to lash out and be destructive. They have no urge to argue or shout furiously in response to your requests. But when their insides are pulsing with pent up tension, mounting stress, they have to let it out.

They have to explode.

And it is the worst possible thing for us weary, drained parents. We are balancing on the edge of patience at all times. We are so close to reaching our absolute limit. We can’t manage a single extra challenge. And we are suddenly faced with a child who neither knows nor cares that we are hovering at breaking point, who is lashing out, needing support we can’t summon up the reserves to give.

This is parenting at its hardest. This is when things fall apart and we react in ways we later regret. When we ignore feelings, when we say harsh words or forget how scary it can feel to be lost in such big emotions when you are so very small. It all becomes just a step too far for us to manage.

It’s so easy to talk about the merits of peaceful parenting. It’s all so wonderful in theory. But is it really possible to be the parent you so desperately want to be in these times of undeniable stress?

Fortunately, the answer is yes. But it’s not easy. It’s not going to come without hard work. But it is worth it. Let me share how with you now.

Continue reading It’s Easy to be a Peaceful Parent… When Nothing Stressful Happens!

Have I Gone Quite Mad?!

Have I gone quite mad?!

meme two the promiseYou could be forgiven for thinking so. This time eighteen months ago, I was making notes and drafting sections for a parenting book about babies. It is a book I hope I will one day complete, but not the book that I will be sharing with you all next Friday.

Instead, something happened that changed the course of everything. Life has many surprises in store for us, and what happened last year was a big one for our family.

As most of you know, our baby girl was born with chronic and completely unexpected health problems, which will always be a big part of our lives. Her condition is called chronic intestinal pseudo obstruction – intestinal failure to put it simply – and her bowel acts as if there is something blocking it, though there is nothing there. It is to do with the nerves or the muscles, we haven’t had the test to find out which, and is, as things stand, without cure. She is the most wonderful little person and we feel unbelievably fortunate to live in a time where there are medical interventions that have enabled her to not only survive, but to thrive.

But this post is not about the medical jargon.

It is about raw emotion. Last year, I discovered a level of darkness I had never known existed previously. I experienced the horrific reality of nearly losing her, not just once, but over and over again. Her last life threatening infection was just a month ago.

These wild emotions, the immense highs and devastating lows would have surely driven me mad if I hadn’t found a way to release them. I needed to express how it felt to love this child so much it hurt. And to face losing her on a daily basis. I had to get these overwhelming feelings out.

And so, the baby book was shelved, and instead, what emerged was a novel. It came together organically, from the heart, and though the story belongs to the characters, the emotions came from a place deep within my heart.

So, yes, parenting writer turned novelist may seem like a crazy and reckless move. It may be hard for you to come with me on this journey. But though this is in no way a how to book, it is about parenting. It is about the immeasurable and unconditional love we mothers have for our children. It is about the limits we will reach and go far beyond in our goal to keep them safe.

And yes, there is lots of continuum style parenting included, breastfeeding, baby-wearing and co-sleeping to name a few.

Over the coming few years, I plan to write several more novels, and perhaps even finish that baby book. Right now, I am simply going where the stories take me. I can’t guarantee where that will be, but what I can promise is that the messages I have always strived to put across with Love Parenting will always be present in all that I do.

The Promise will be released on Amazon Friday 15th July 2016.

The Promise (250 pages)

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Well Behaved Children Without Punishments, Threats, Bribes or Rewards? Yes It’s Possible!

Recently I made a video on Parenting without Punishments and why we would choose to raise our children in this way.

The question on everybody’s lips was, “That’s great, but if you don’t use punishments, rewards, threats or bribes, what DO you do to get them to behave?

I have done years of research on answering this question, and in this video I share my secrets to parenting without punishments or rewards.

I also share a very personal struggle of mine when it comes to parenting this way.

My apologies for the poor lighting in the video.

Watch The Video.

 

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Family on Beach with KiteGet your FREE copy of The Parenting Revolution here:

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This book shares the six simple parenting principles that will transform your family and your life.

Why am I giving this book away totally free? Because I want everyone to read it. I believe so passionately in the message of this book and I believe that if everyone knew the importance of these six principles, children would be happier, parenting would be more harmonious and many of the discipline issues families face today would simply fade away.

Parenting in line with these principles helps children to reach their full potential in life, and grow into vibrant, healthy and most importantly happy adults. I believe that every family deserves to read this.

 

Anger Management for Children – Part one

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This is part one of a three part series on anger management for children. There are numerous reasons why a child may be experiencing feelings of intense anger, and the solutions are just as varied so it’s not something I want to rush through in one article.

In this first segment, I want to talk about looking inwardly at our own emotions and to do this, I’m going to start with a little story. Tell me if this strikes a chord within you.

Continue reading Anger Management for Children – Part one

Why We’re Still Co-sleeping With Our Five Year Old

*** I’ve put out more videos than articles lately so I thought with this one I would give you both a video and a written article to give you the option of choosing the one you prefer. Please let me know in the comments if you like having a transcript to go with the video, so I can do the same next time. ***

After filming my family bed video where I did a tour of our co-sleeping set up, it occurred to me that some people may be wondering why our five year old is still in the family bed rather than his own room.

Continue reading Why We’re Still Co-sleeping With Our Five Year Old